Above are a few pages of sketches and notes from the making of Mint Conditioner for double bass and electronics – signed, sealed and delivered (several weeks ago) to exceedingly awesome bassist Logan Coale. True to the title, this piece starts out a tangled ball of knots, and by the end rinses out smooth and silky!

About three-quarters of the way through the work I learned of the illness and impending death of a family member. That news and the events surrounding it stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t bring myself to write a single dot. Apparently grief is my musical Kryptonite.

I know this is probably the case for many people – death and the grief that goes with it is paralyzing for anyone. Although I wasn’t able to write music, and I had very little interest in listening to music, I found that playing the piano – simply noodling about on the keyboard – was very centering. Perhaps the act of playing music freely, without any expectation, censoring or the need to “produce” something, is housed in a different department of the brain?

A good friend asked if I turn to music when life gets rough, and evidently the answer continues to be yes. But when things become really complicated, the musical experience turns in a slightly different direction.

What helps you find your way through challenging life changes and events?

Here is Brian during sound check in the recital hall!

A highlight of the trip for me was working with the four student percussionists who performed “Coyote”. They practiced hard all year, guided by Dr. Kay Stonefelt, to prepare for this performance (did I mention that this piece is actually a BEAR to play?), and they did an outstanding job! Guitarist Jim Piorkowski also gave a lovely, thoughtful performance of “Luminoso”.

There was much talk about the composer-performer relationship – a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. It is a more complex issue than the nuts and bolts of writing clear notation and understanding how an instrument works. The performer and composer are collaborating in the creation of a new work.

Working with performers is one of my favorite parts of the composition process. After spending weeks/months in semi-solitary confinement creating a new thing, I am SO ready to go out into the world for a dose of basic human contact, not to mention additional sets of eyes and ears on the work. Together we iron out the details, and as that happens the performer develops a personal approach to playing the music. It is incredibly satisfying when a performer brings something of themselves to a composition! For example, Jim P. plays the last section of “Luminoso” (a structured improvisation) with a sense of drama that is completely wonderful and surprising, while Ben unleashes his Inner Percussionist with an intensity that makes me worry slightly (!) about his guitar. Same piece, very different approaches, both awesome. The performer adds new layers of meaning and depth to the work.

For the composer this requires being open to interpretation. Literally! Letting go of the music enough to allow a musician to add their own voice to the mix. In my experience, when a performer asks, “Do you want this phrase played this way? Or that way?” sometimes they present options that I hadn’t considered, and sometimes those options are better than what I initially had in mind! Similarly, if there is a more efficient way to achieve that double/triple/quadruple stop, or that harmonic, than what I have written, I see no reason not to change it. The score is a means to an end. Don’t get me wrong – I am very attached to my compositions. VERY. They are extremely personal to me, and I know how I want them to be. At the same time, I understand that when the score leaves my hands, it’s not totally mine anymore – I am entering into a partnership, and the best thing I can do is be open to how that might unfold.

To make a little, er, structured improvisation on the words of Kahlil Gibran:

Your music is not your music….once in my hands it is mine…..once in the ears of the audience it is theirs!

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To be honest I haven’t been feeling very talkative lately, so I’ve been keeping things on this side of the firewall. During July and August I took a break from composing to focus on some other projects (which I will fill you in on shortly), and to rest my mind and ears. Although it wasn’t intentional, I barely listened to music over the past two months. No earbuds, no listening while washing dishes or puttering around the house… Wind and water, birds and sounds of the city were more than enough to satisfy. Slowly, little musical ideas started to creep in, and then larger and more developed ideas came knocking… all are written down in words and/or dots, and stashed away for use in upcoming projects. Two weeks ago I awoke one morning hungry to listen to music. Since then I’ve been happily listening to all sorts of things, letting go and rolling the music around in my head. It feels like meeting new friends, and rediscovering old ones!

For instance:

Un Dia by Juana Molina. That is how loops should be dealt with!

The Dirty Projectors

A Sound Map of the Danube by Annea Lockwood

Then by Jonathan Elliott

1. Got form and structure?
2. Step away from the synth preset! Unless you can employ it with as much panache as Corey.
3. Be yourself! I adore Radiohead (*insert band or composer of choice here*) just as much as the next person, but the only ones who will ever really sound like Radiohead are, um….Radiohead.
4. Drugs don’t make the music better. At least not while you’re actually creating it, that is. Just say no. Seriously.
5. A really awesome idea is a million times better than really awesome gear.

Okay, so if you watch that video, be sure to check out the other two as well (they are short). They are all interesting, showing different views of the composing process.

August! To be honest, I’m not really a fan. Hot, sticky, even thoughts seem a bit stuck in the air… I find myself just waiting for September to roll in. But this year it has suddenly filled up with all sorts of events and work and the very best thing, out-of-town friend visits! Why anyone would come to DC in August is beyond me, but I’ll take it!

Last week I put finishing touches on a bunch of music composed for a new radio documentary series about global warming research taking place in Antarctica. I made the theme music and all the material in between, which included musical segments with labels like “glacier music”, “scientific investigation music”, “historical discovery music” and “cold windy desolate music”. Using Ableton Live as a primary software tool was a blast (why, oh why did I not learn this program years ago??!), and I am so so so glad I have learned to archive almost all of my composing stuff. Those improvised recordings from earlier pieces weren’t right for those things at those times, but some of them work great for this thing now. I was positive that material was useless – ha!

The radio programs have yet to be assembled and edited, so I only have the faintest idea of how the music will fit in….can’t wait to find out! Will keep you posted about when the final products hit the airwaves.

In other new music news:

• This looks like quite possibly the best new music festival ever. Words about it are here and here.
• My favorite Bad Boys of Baltimore have unleashed the new Mobtown Modern website, which includes 2008-2009 season concerts. Looking forward to joining them in October!